Don't Say "No" To Me!

... <-- That moment of silence is me, acknowledging all of you who are thinking (or saying aloud) something to the effect of "it's about time!"

Seriously, job hunting has got to be among the top five demeaning things a US citizen can engage in. Am I wrong!? First, you spend hours, figuring out what to write about yourself. Dictionary, Thesaurus, Google, you name it, you're using it. Ultimately, you come up with a masterfully crafted document which [you believe] will pretty much have the reader of said document thinking to themselves (or saying aloud) "this person is the sh*t!"

After exalting yourself on paper to all but the status of a god, you're likely feeling rather good about yourself. Now it's time to decide which organization is worthy of your consideration.

Then the fun begins! You dress in your best clothing, and carry your masterfully crafted document into a room of strangers whose sole objective is to accentuate your flaws. And let me tell you, if these folks were using a flaw-highlighter, I would be glowing in the dark after about 45 seconds.

Needless to say, you often leave those strangers feeling considerably less god-like. You gave your best, and it still wasn't good enough...ouch! Then the less god-like feeling begins to transform into resentment:

You: How dare they judge me!? I can do all three of their jobs with my eyes closed!
Voice of Reason: It's their job to make you feel like you are inadequate. That way, you won't be offended in the event you actually receive their pathetic excuse for an offer.

Suddenly, the 150 other listings on Dice.com are no longer relevant, and it's this one particular position that you have dreamed of your entire life and can't live without. They have free benefits, after all!

Then the phone rings...you answer. "This is Adrian...oh, ok...thank you for your consideration." Yes, you just thanked someone for rejecting you. So much for being the sh*t.

I'm bored

So it's up to you folks...lol! Wait, I probably don't even have "folks" anymore, it's up to you two people, still reading my poor excuse for a blog. Yes, I'm talking to you, Susan and Rashad...It's up to you to entertain me.

Here's my idea...

Leave a comment, using the "verification word" in a sentence.

I'll start with a verification word I encountered today.

I saw a woman walking down the street today, and couldn't help but stare at her abnormally large chess. Chess.

Eric Devaughn: The Polite panhandler

I was approached by Eric Devaughn (sp) a couple of weekends ago and was impressed by his politeness. I've reconstructed a brief POV video of the encounter. And no, I did not give Eric any money.

Ty vs. The Laptop Bag

My dog is spoiled, and likes to lay on bedding of any kind. My dog also likes to be directly next to humans 99.9% of the time. When I'm home, I spend the majority of my time in my loft. My loft has hardwood flooring, and as a result, Ty will not sit or lay in the loft. Instead, he will pace around incessantly, hoping for some bedding to magically appear by the next time he circles back around.

This can be quite frustrating for me, so I decided to purchase a bed for Ty to lay on while I am in my loft.

The bed came about a week ago, and Ty LOVED it. He would even sleep on his bed when I wasn't in the loft.

But all of a sudden, Ty no longer loves his bed. "Why", you might ask? The answer to that question lies within the following video:

A Birthday Weekend With Friends

This past weekend, two of my very dear friends - Nicole and Susan - took me out to celebrate my birthday. It is common knowledge that I suck at blogging, and I will not attempt to disprove that fact on this day. I will leave it to the pros.

So please feel free to check out:

Susan's blog detailing my Birthday dinner at Ray's: The Steaks

and

Nicole's blog detailing my Birthday surprise at the DC Armory

I'm so very thankful to all of my friends who contributed to my 33rd Birthday/Birthday weekend and a special thanks to Susan and Nicole!

Today I Turn 33

Today marks the beginning of my thirty third year of existence. I've come a long way...

This past year had some memorable experiences...

I've made new friends...

And said goodbye to some, as well...

I've learned a little more about myself:

I suck at blogging.

I love Gator Nuggets (and Olivia Wilde)!

I'm not too old to have my cast signed.

I think Dogfish Head Ale is delicious.

Thanks to all of my friends, family and loved ones for contributing to yet another great year of my life.

Diet-betes

Think of all of the things you enjoy to eat. Go on, make a list!

My list would look something like this:

• Chocolove, Hazelnuts in Milk Chocolate bar
• Red wine
• Beef tenderloin, medium rare - medium
• Rum (with Coke)
• (Alli)Gator nuggets
• Chick-Fil-A: Arnold Palmer, Cookies and cream milkshake, chicken strips (with Chick-Fil-A sauce)
• Sushi

Now that you have your list of things which cause you to bounce up and down in your seat, uncontrollably, proceed to partake in a week long diet without not one of those things (assuming you were honest when compiling your list ).

I am currently in the home stretch of such a torturous ordeal. A recent wake-up call from my doctor reminded me that my diet is not one of someone who remains in good health over time. In fact, my diet (along with my genetic background), will surely result in me developing Diabetes! Me? Diabetes? Dammit!

Naturally, I don't want Diabetes, so in an effort to prevent its manifestation, I am engaging in a trial diet. This diet will not only bring me great frustration, anger and suicidal thoughts, but will also determine if dietary change alone can ensure I remain in good health (i.e. not diabetic) over time.

Here is a list of things that I eliminated from my diet this week. I ask that you please keep in mind the list you created above. If you ignored my request to create a list, I hope you spill coffee on your keyboard.

The Diet-betes NO list:

• Rice
• White potatoes
• Carrots
• Beets
• Corn
• Bread (yes...bread...ALL of it. not just white bread. no. bread. period!)
• Pasta
• Fats (Oils, butter, margarine, nuts, etc)
• Dairy
• Red meat
• Alcohol
• Sugar

If you're thinking "what exactly CAN you eat!?" I assure you, you are not alone.

The Diet-betes YES list:

• Greens, spinach
• Broccoli
• Brussell sprouts
• Green beans
• Peas
• Snow peas (yeah, you said peas, stop trying to act like you are giving me more options than you really are!)
• Asparagus
• Lettuce
• Cucumber
• Onion
• Bean sprouts
• Squash
• Okra (steamed)
• Cabbage
• One serving of white meat daily
• One serving of fruit daily

I don't know about you, but just the thought of eating about half of the items on the YES list makes me want to embrace Diabetes with open arms.

If you are reading this blog, thinking "big deal, it's just a diet, get over it." I have two responses, depending on your dietary habits. If you are a) vegetarian or worse (i.e. more strict), I commend you. But if you are b) someone whose idea of dieting is not eating fast food, I hope you spill coffee on your keyboard.

Sunday is the last day I will be following this strict diet. While I am certain I will need to change my dietary habits in general, I could not be happier that this week of sheer hell is coming to an end. I honestly have never felt so hungry for so long in my entire life.